Traveller in An Antique Land

Metafilter meetup, part 2

2009-12-06T18:14:00.001-08:00

This is what happens when I attempt to use a flash. Sigh. But these pictures are still hilarious.

Metafilter meetup

2009-12-06T17:52:00.000-08:00

We brought cupcakes with dulce de leche frosting! I think we brought about 14 and left with 2. Well done, guys.
Apologies for the blurriness of these photos. I'm crap at indoor photos.

Best photo of the evening. Lucky girl.

A Neglectful Author

2009-03-25T12:26:00.000-07:00

That's me. I haven't updated in almost 4 months! Happily, this is because I've been busy living in the real world.

Winter has come and gone. Not surprisingly, I spent most of it inside. My plan for going to Germany fell through, so Christmas was spent quietly at home. I think it was very English--I had a roast, opened crackers, and watched the Doctor Who special on TV. On Boxing Day I saw Morris dancers for the first time and then spent the day at a friend's house. New Year's was spent quietly at home. The rest of the winter was also enjoyable. There was lots of snow, at least by Gloucestershire standards. It was all quite typical for me. Well, almost. Because England is so temperate, most of the snow had melted by the end of the day, so we ended up with more slush than anything else. There was enough snow for M to get out of school at least one day, though. We had lots of fun throwing snowballs and building snowmen.

In December, I also began volunteering at a nearby charity bookshop. The heavy presence of literature in Cheltenham is one of my favorite things about the city. There are some specialized shops, like Cooking: The Books, and some chains, like Waterstone's, and some independent booksellers, like Moss Books. There are also loads of charity bookshops, whose profits support various causes. I currently volunteer for the British Red Cross and Oxfam. The former is for convenience's sake, because it's just down the road. Oxfam, however, is an organization I've wanted to find a way to support for some time. It started as an organization dedicated to fighting world hunger but is now devoted to fighting poverty. Though I've never been to the third world, I've seen enough poverty to want to do something about it. Part of me wants to be very directly involved, but I quite like my position at the bookshop. I spend most of my time in the back, but quite like my fellow volunteers and the occasional shift on the till does provide opportunities to interact with random strangers. Always exciting!

So life goes on, more full of enjoyment than I have any right to. The sun has been shining extraordinarily often; the daffodils are blooming, and tulips are budding; my ears are full of music and my heart is full of peace. I could live this life for a while.

Tea

2008-12-07T08:16:00.000-08:00

The cuppa is the true English icon.

Yes, tea is more important than beer, curry, or even the Queen. (*gasp*) Although these factor into ordinary English lives some days, tea is a constant. I only know one English person who doesn't drink it. Some people over here are progressive and drink coffee as well, but in a crisis their true nature emerges and they find themselves nursing a lovely cup of tea. There's even a UK Tea Council.

So why tea? I think it's a necessity in light of the climate here. Although I know it's a relatively recent addition to English culture, I can't imagine life here without it. (Side note: Many people here say the same thing about curry.) Coffee seems too bitter and strong for the English. Most prefer weak tea, white, i.e. with milk. The amount of sugar depends on the person, though K takes 2 and is often mocked for it. Really strong tea is referred to as builder's tea. However it's prepared, though, it is a part of life. My favorite thing about visiting an English house is being asked if I'd like a cup of tea, and the question is invariably one of the first things out of the owner's mouth. I assume this is because tea is inherently relaxing. It's smooth and warm, and that can only raise a mood. I guess tea is, like alcohol, a social lubricant. I can say from personal experience that it is much easier to talk to a stranger while holding a steaming mug of tea than in most other situations. I wish I could do it in the States, where I'm at a huge social disadvantage as a non-coffee and minimum-alcohol drinker. Because tea is so ingrained in English culture, it also provides conversational topics. How do you take your tea? Have you had a traditional afternoon tea? Favorite type of tea? Is milk added before or after the tea? How much do you drink a day? The answer to the last question is usually 3 or 4. Tea breaks are a part of work as well as play. I saw a Bob the Builder mug in a charity shop, and it said, "Time for a tea break." My two-hour choir rehearsal always breaks for tea, which someone kindly brings in along with biscuits. I've been volunteering at a couple of bookshops, and at both of them I'm regularly asked if I'd like a cuppa. I was also show where the tea, cups, and biscuits were kept. I find it all quite charming. I'll miss English tea when I leave.

Apologies for the incoherency of this post.

An obligatory update

2008-10-05T07:12:00.000-07:00

I just realized that I haven't updated in over a month. This is due to a a sad lack of both creativity and activity.

Someone I passed on the street the other day said that winter's here. I don't know if that's true just yet, but it's certainly on its way. Trees are now as yellow as green, and pavements are piled with crunchy piles of amber and rust. Puddles generously lend their sheen to the streets. It's only 5 October, and I already have to wear a scarf everyday. So mostly, I feel cold these days.

Fortunately, the cold is not entirely oppressive, and I am still happy to walk into town to visit the library or run errands. The library, oddly, is playing a more central role in my life than it ever has. I don't work there, nor am I particularly pleased with it. However, my days are very flexible, almost unbearably so sometimes, and I have not yet found a replacement for the Artisan. Pubs and restaurants are plentiful in this wealthy city, but I cannot find a coffee shop that I feel comfortable at, especially if I want to read or write but not order anything (and considering my so-called salary, I'd rather not). Thus, the library has become a second home. I go there during the day to get personal work done, whether that be studying Latin for a couple of hours (and the Latin's coming along painfully slowly, mostly because I hardly ever open the book), journaling, or writing grad school essays, which recently became my main focus.

So there you go. An update. Life is as monotonous here as anywhere else.

On antisocial behavior

2008-08-28T12:19:00.000-07:00

From What I Do: More True Tales of Everyday Craziness by Jon Ronson.

I'm considering hiring a bookkeeper to help me manage my receipts. A bookkeeper called Eric comes over for a trial session. I leave him to it.
"Eric," I shout after a while. "I'm going out. Help yourself to coffee or whatever. OK, bye!"
I saunter down the stairs and practically gasp. Eric has got his coat on. He's walking towards the front door too. I realize to my horror that the two of us are equidistant to the door. And we are walking at an identical pace. If this continues unabated we'll be leaving the house at exactly the same time and will consequently be forced to walk along the road together.
Oh no! I think.
I look frantically around for something that might authentically slow me down. But there's nothing. I have my keys in my hand. My coat is zipped up. I'm clearly ready to leave. I catch Eric's eye and give him a pleading look to say, "One of us has to stop this madness before it spirals out of control and we end up walking down the road together with nothing to say to each other."
Think laterally, Jon, I think. I've got it!
"I'm just going to the toilet!" I say.
"Oh," says Eric. "I left something downstairs."
I hurry up to the toilet. Eric hurries down to the kitchen.
Inside the toilet I ponder Eric's demeanour as he said he'd forgotten something. It was obviously a ruse and he felt the same way I did about us leaving together, but why? I know what [my wife] Elaine would say. She'd say, "Eric just wanted to be your friend and you made him feel small, didn't you, with your antisocial behaviour. That's why he ran back downstairs. It's just like that time we had Bill round and you sat on the Internet all night. It was the rudest thing I've ever seen anyone do."
"I can't believe you're still going on about that Bill thing years after it happened," I'd reply, before adding, with a triumphant glint in my eye, "And the fact that you're always citing that single incident is proof that I'm only rarely antisocial."
Anyway, Eric's demeanour throughout the incident was equally awkward. He clearly didn't want to walk with me just as vehemently as I didn't want to walk with him.
His antisocial attitude makes him interesting, I think. I can relate to that. What an interestingly antisocial self-assured person.
Now all I need to do is wait here in the toilet until I hear him scamper away.
So I do.
I'm going to hire him! I think.

A Study of English Customs. #1: The Pub Quiz

2008-08-16T14:07:00.000-07:00

In high school, I was a member of Academic Team. Yes, I was one of those nerds who loves showing off her random knowledge of trivia and meaningless information. I believe most people who enjoy trivia are considered nerds in America. The English, on the other hand, have made trivia and general knowledge an art form. (I say English because I don't know if this extends to the rest of the UK.) If you've talked to me about my time abroad, you've probably heard me talk about QI, which stands for Quite Interesting. Basically, Stephen Fry conducts a round table of comedians to talk about random stuff for half an hour. It's fascinating, entertaining, and enlightening. The BBC also broadcasts shows like Eggheads, Battle of the Brains, and Mastermind, all of which center around knowledge. Mock the Week gets a panel of comedians to discuss/focus on news stories which broke the previous week. America's only equivalents are Jeopardy and Who Wants to be a Millionaire, and maybe The Daily Show--though that's broadcast here and is a bit of a stretch regardless.

All this says nothing about the general population, of course. We all know that what's broadcast on television doesn't necessarily reflect the public's interest, and I'm not going to bother looking up ratings. What does indicate that trivia is a popular phenomenon is the presence of pub quizzes. Tuesday nights at a pub down the road are dedicated as quiz nights. I went with K and a few of her friends, because I'd heard about pub quizzes when I was here before, but never quite made it to one. I didn't really know what to expect.

The Pub Quiz Experience
Apparently, there's a Wikipedia entry for pub quiz. I'd say it's pretty accurate. The quiz started unusually late at this pub, at half past 9. Apparently there were complications with the mic; at one point the announcer said something like, "If this is anyone's first time to a pub quiz, they must be wondering if it's always like this. It's not." So apparently my first pub quiz was exceptional, and it cut out a round to make the game go more quickly. Usually, there are 6, including one film, one music, one picture, one connections, and two general knowledge rounds. For the picture round, each team is given a copy of a sheet with pictures of people on it--I think there were 10 on the one we got. The subjects are usually celebrities who are topical--Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, Michael Phelps, and the latest Big Brother evictee were on it--but may be bizarre celebrites or people from the pub as well. Teams are generally formed by table, and I think almost everyone in the pub, ranging from high school-age to maybe mid-60s, participated. The connections round was quite difficult. Each question's answer connects to the next somehow, and they're all connected by one subject, which is the answer to question 10. (There are 10 questions per round.) I didn't follow it, but apparently the connection this week was Madonna, and somehow next week's will be connected to her. The music round consisted of 10 song clips played back-to-back without gaps. 1/2 point is awarded for song title, and 1/2 point for the artist. For the entire game, answers are to be written down on a sheet handed out about 10 minutes before the start, then turned in after all the questions have been asked. The film round didn't happen this week, but I think is self-explanatory. General knowledge is, as you'd expect, a catch-all. Sadly, as I was fairly useless this week, I've forgotten most of the questions that were asked. I remember the ones I was able to answer--"In what children's film do Michael and Jane live at 17 Cherry Tree Lane?"* and "What disease gets its name from the Latin word for crab?"** My team was all right, though; we tied for 11th out of approximately 25-30 teams. I was pleased, anyway. The prize was 10 pounds at the bar.

While they were calculating the results, they had 3 individuals come to the back for a chance at a different prize. When the staff passed out the answer sheets, they also brought around a jar and raffle tickets. For a pound, you could buy a ticket which would be entered into a raffle. If your number was drawn, you had a chance to go to the back and answer a question. If you answered correctly, you would win all the money in the jar. This week, it was a little over 90 pounds. If the first person answered incorrectly, a second person would get a chance, and then a third if that person failed as well. If three people failed, the money would roll over to next week. Unfortunately for me, someone won on Tuesday. I shall have to go back, though, to try my hand at more of this trivial pursuit.

* Mary Poppins
**Cancer

A Room of My Own

2008-08-12T07:48:00.000-07:00

The nausea didn't begin until the descent. 7 1/2 hours of a settled stomach were lovely, and the ache between my ribs and bellybutton that began as the "Fasten seatbelt" sign lit up just did not please me. I breathed deeply, closed my eyes, and tried not to think about what was happening. I was not caving into my shy nature by not speaking to the girl seated next to me. I was not stealing the socks Virgin Atlantic provided. I was not arriving at my new home without grieving the loss of my permanent one. I was in a temporary state of queasy denial, refusing to accept the situation I had begun to get myself into months ago. Later, K, the woman I'm working for, asked if it (meaning the area, I think) was what I expected. Inveterate truth teller that I am, I had to confess that I hadn't really expected anything. I had no idea what was coming. I couldn't think about it, or I would have drowned a pool of nerves.

As it turns out, it seems there was little to be nervous about, anyway. My flight departed and arrived on time. I got through immigration with a mere cursory glance at my German passport. My luggage was waiting on Belt 2 in Terminal 3 of Heathrow Airport, and as I had nothing to declare, I passed straight through to the main terminal. Just on the other side, I quickly spotted a small sign with "JENNIFER" written on it being held by K. The meeting was surprisingly painless; there were a few awkward moments, but we seem to get on well. We have similar taste in music, and found enough common ground to survive a 2-hour car ride, though she's much more outgoing than I am. The little girl I'm taking care of, M, is away on holiday with her dad, but K assures me she's excited to meet me. After getting to spend a few hours in my new house and see my new private space, I'm looking forward to it as well. I think I will be comfortable here, and that will make me much more confident with her. She still sounds like a bright girl (She just turned 7, and is reading Harry Potter by herself.), and I've seen her room now, which I feel does say something about her. I think it'll be all right. My room is lovely, too. It's on the upper floor and has a huge double bed (Actually, I think that's rather a shame, as it's such a small room.) and a wardrobe. We'll install shelves and put together a dresser; the biggest disadvantage to my room is that there's no storage space, not even an underbed. Sadly, there's no room for a desk, but I think I'll be able to use my windowsill. The view is nice--I'm overlooking the garden and from my bed see only trees. I also have my own bathroom with an amazing tub and an equally amazing view of the garden and the neighbors' gardens. I think I'll adjust to this place well. It's quiet and beautiful and feels quintessentially English. I'll put pictures of the lane we drove down on Flickr later. I've hardly seen anything more poetic. I may head to my first pub quiz tonight, as K often goes.

Insomnia

2008-08-04T16:30:00.000-07:00

Sleep is quite the commodity in my world these days. Between packing, goodbyes, and internal stress, my mind is constantly wound. I've averaged around 4 hours of sleep per night this week. This is hardly a surprise, all things considered. Life is busy right now, and everything that's happening has its own energy, so it keeps building. I have now left MG, my home for the last 11 years. MG, as a place, was much easier to leave than Columbia. Despite living there for such a long time, I think the most significant part of growing up happened in Columbia and London instead of southern Missouri. Regardless, I will dearly miss the people at home. I get along with fewer of them, but the ones I do connect with are wonderful. Saying goodbye to people I've been friends with since high school is exceptionally strange. Several of them stopped by on Saturday night, and I realized that I haven't seen some of them for a year. Knowing we're still in contact is very comforting. If we've done it before, maybe we can do it again. Losing contact probably wouldn't be the end of the world, but I do love their insights and their company. It's hard to imagine them completely absent from my life.

I expect this next week will be equally strange. After a 10-hour bus ride, I'm now in the Chicago suburbs saying goodbye to the family I dearly love but hardly know. There will be drama.

Moving homes

2008-07-24T06:17:00.000-07:00

Packing blitz #1 is underway. My room is hardly more of a mess than it usually is, but this time the mess is tempered by boxes full of paper and office supplies in the corner. Most of my things are still on display as of now. I am dreading seeing my room empty, no books filling the shelves or picture collages on the wall. That's just too much reality for right now.

Major events like this have a way of slowly walking up to me and then, when they're about 2 feet in front of me, leaning in and shouting, "Boo!" The effect is that, even though I know they're going to happen and am calm, I am ultimately overwhelmed. I wish I had a clearer memory of moving into Gillett my freshman year, or rather of what I was feeling at the time. The day is a blur of elevators and little green wagons and boxes. Then, of course, there was the horrifying shock of seeing Greek characters on my room's door. The year turned out surprisingly well, though, and I think Columbia became home that year. It has remained so. A lot of my personal growth can probably be attributed to the creative environment I've been in for the past four years. It's wonderful to be surrounded by art and people who appreciate it. Finding other people my age who adore literature was a revelation, and living in a city that indulges that passion was even better. I love that Columbia feels very down to earth and natural and friendly in spite of the university's presence. (Football game days seem to be an exception to this.) Columbia is just comfortable. I'm going to miss it terribly. I wonder when it's actually going to hit me, as right now I'm too caught up in other things to think about the fact that I'm leaving.

I'm nervous because I have no idea what kind of city Cheltenham is. I have high hopes; a literature festival will be held there in September. I wonder if it will ever feel as natural as Columbia, though, or if it will merely be a holding tank. I will make every effort to let it feel like home, and I hope it will grow as dear to me as the other places I've lived. Only time will tell.

On the value of travel

2008-07-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

I don't know who Patton Oswalt is (a comedian?), but he gave this speech at his former high school, and it's excellent.

Big Step #1

2008-07-10T06:00:00.001-07:00

I suppose being offered a job was Big Step #1, actually. Regardless, I've just taken what feels like the first Big Step, and booked a flight. I'm flying out of Chicago on August 11 and arriving at London Heathrow on August 12 at 8 am. Shockingly, Virgin Atlantic had the cheapest flight, so that's the airline I'll be using. I've got no brand loyalty; I've used a different airline on each trip to England.

The first time, I flew with Northwest, which proved to be quite an adventure. After an on-time departure from St. Louis, I had to suffer through a roughly 5-hour layover in Minneapolis. Layovers are typical, but this one was only supposed to last an hour. The plane was boarded on schedule, actually, but after about 45 minutes, they announced that there were mechanical problems. Scary. The announcement was followed by a trek across the airport to a new gate and plane, where we had to wait for several more hours. Vouchers for Subway definitely did not make up for the experience. In the end, the functioning plane was very comfortable, and I think the food was probably edible, but I was terribly sick because of nerves. This meant that I did not sleep or eat; I only watched movies (They had a pretty decent selection.) and tried not to think about the pain in my stomach. Fortunately, I was sitting next to a nurse who, in an oddly serendipitous stroke, worked at the hospital next to my new university. Conversation was somewhat inhibited by my weak stomach, but she was able to give me advice on how to minimize the pain of airsickness and then how to get to the university. Overall, it was actually a fitting introduction to my study abroad experience--full of luck and inconveniences.

I took United Airlines this spring. This flight was much smoother; there were no plane problems or delays. I wasn't nauseated, either. Huzzah! I was able to concentrate on my Austen (Persuasion) and eat. Word of advice, though: Never even try to eat an airline breakfast. Ugh. I also wound up with a terrible seat and didn't speak a word to anyone around me, which was rather disappointing. I didn't like the experience very much at all. I guess the impersonality of United and the mechanical issues of Northwest balance each other out, and I don't really want to fly on either again. I'm excited about trying out Virgin; obviously, it's targeted toward young people, so I'll see if it lives up to its advertising.

Down the rabbit hole

2008-07-03T13:37:00.000-07:00

Bodleian

2008-07-03T06:16:00.000-07:00

I took this during my last trip to England. I hope to post more of my favorite shots soon.

The return

2008-07-02T19:49:00.000-07:00

When you last heard from me, I was leaving London for Germany, Spain, and home. My time in London was quick and full of adventures, misadventures, and some depression, if I'm honest. However, the long-term results of the trip were fantastic, and the year and a half since my return to Missouri have probably been the most spectacular of my oh-so-short life so far. Suffice it to say, being an English major was bliss, despite the occasional stress storm, and I now have a BA in English with honors. (Sorry, I'm very proud of myself for that.)

Graduation inevitably brings change. For me, it also meant making difficult decisions about where I would spend the next year before I go to grad school in 2009. I really wanted to spend time abroad, and I thought going back to England would be amazing. So I applied for jobs at libraries, and even got interviewed by the Bodleian! Unfortunately, I didn't get the job, so it was back to Google for ways to get abroad. I got thisclose to moving to Germany before an opportunity to move to Cheltenham, England arrived.

So the short version is, I will be moving to England in the middle of August, spending a year there as an au pair. I have no idea what consequences will emerge from this, but am quite excited to find out. I'd like to invite all of you to join me on this second adventure through an antique land.

2007-01-19T14:06:00.000-08:00

Departure

2006-12-14T09:51:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe I'm leaving London in three days. I'll have to come back someday; I didn't get to do half of the things I wanted to. Stupid uni ... I've grown pretty fond of the area, though, and I know there are things that I'll miss. Here's some of them:

*English accents. So this one's obvious. I've just gotten used to them, and now I notice American accents as much as or more than I do English. Hearing all the different dialects of English is fun, too. I never did figure out which accent comes from where, but they're all lovely.

*Sainsbury's. The grocery store I've done almost all of my shopping at. It is a true grocery store, along the lines of Richards' Brothers at home in MG, but bigger. It's a national chain, and uses Jamie Oliver for their commercials. (Okay, that might have something to do with why I like it ...) They have a pretty sizable organic section, and a lovely bakery and deli. They also sell 25p bars of dark chocolate. Mmmm.

*Strictly Come Dancing and QI. British TV. Who'd have thought I'd get so attached? I certainly didn't. But I've gotten completely addicted to Strictly, and am absolutely crushed that I don't get to watch the finals. As for QI, well, Stephen Fry's the host. How much more do I need to say? The questions that come up are often odd, and the panel just seems to have so much fun.

*The tube. Convenience in a tunnel. Sure, there are problems, and you can't use your mobile while you're on it, but overall it's so much easier than driving. I can just hop on and be in central London in 20 minutes or so. It's marvelous.

Because you know you love the Beatles ...

2006-12-10T08:38:00.000-08:00

The coolest thing about Abbey Road Studios is that they've given permission for fans to write graffitti on the walls around the building. Unfortunately, they had just painted before I visited, so I didn't get to shoot any really interesting comments.

Global warming strikes again!

2006-12-08T01:47:00.000-08:00

I never thought I'd hear anyone say this, but here it is: A tornado came through London yesterday. It wasn't near the area I live in, but my area did get torrential rain when it happened. Ironically enough, when I saw the rain out of the classroom window, I said, "It's like being at home." (When it rains it Missouri, it usually pours.) I didn't expect the weather to be similar enough for a tornado, though. Crazy.

A few pictures ...

2006-12-08T01:40:00.000-08:00

... from my brand new digital camera! It was the best early Christmas present I could have imagined. I'm excited about learning to use it properly. These pictures are just a few test shots, but I thought you might like to see a little bit of my surroundings.

Six word sci-fi

2006-11-27T07:08:00.000-08:00

I was looking through Wired this morning, researching (believe it or not) for my magazine class, when I came across this article. You should go check it out. It's almost like haiku.

A late Thanksgiving list

2006-11-27T02:34:00.000-08:00

1. Being able to explore another country and culture.
2. A late Thanksgiving replacement in the form of a traditional Sunday roast.
3. A restorative weekend in Oxford.
4. Amazing friends and family.
5. Patches of Godlight.
6. The Internet.
7. The arts & creativity.
8. Hot chocolate & books.
9. Roofs & umbrellas to keep the rain off of me.
10. Unbelievable hospitality.

A sad state of affairs ...

2006-11-19T06:57:00.000-08:00

I am hugely disappointed by the library here. I'm writing an article that involves the classic books 1984 and Fahrenheit 451, so I naturally wanted to check out the books so I could easily check references. Imagine my horror when I searched the library's online catalogue only to discover that the university owns absolutely no books by Ray Bradbury. Okay, so this is England, but that's despicable nonetheless!

A picture at long last!

2006-11-17T06:17:00.000-08:00

Since I don't have a digital camera, it's hard for me to post pictures. Developing film here is expensive, so I'm waiting until I get home to do it, so I usually can't even scan images. I have, however, printed a few photos in my photography class, including this one of Kensington Gardens. The real picture is a bit bleached out, so I did edit it a little in Photoshop. Sadly, it's the only copy of it that will ever exist, as the negative mysteriously disappeared. Very upsetting, because I actually do like this picture a lot.

2006-11-17T00:40:00.000-08:00

...gave an amusing account of visiting Blackwell's shop with Hugo Dyson. When he came to the point at which the assistant returned to Hugo and said: Sorry, sir, we have no second-hand copy, but we have a new copy (and H. replied, Well, rub it on the floor and make it secondhand: it's all the same to me), there was loud applause.

-- J.R.R. Tolkien, excerpt from a letter to his son Michael

Snapshots

2006-11-14T06:30:00.000-08:00

The spire of Harrow school rises out of the mist, elegant and understated. It's little more than a silhouette; the charcoal shingles blend seamlessly with the lighter grey sky. Below the monotonous horizon lie jewels. A blindingly green field, shimmering with the raindrops that bow the blades of grass. A line of trees, now in glorious autumn color. It's almost a line of fire, yellows turning into oranges and flaming reds. Sparks have fallen and reached the ground; now they lie there, waiting for their moment of glory. If the wind blows in just the right way, I think the earth will explode into flame, burst back into life, erupt with the colors of creation.

***

There's a man dressed in a clown suit, absurd in his makeup and loudly patterned clothes. He must be cold there by the door; it's November and grey and rainy. But still, he's smiling and laughing and talking to passersby. In between chats, he blows bubbles into the store, creating an impermanent indoor layer of clouds. They make the atmosphere come alive. The people in the store love them, or at least I do. I love the store in general. What's better than uncontrolled access to 6 stories of toys? It's glorious. Between the teddy bears and Legos and dolls, I catch glimpses of myself, a younger me (Did she really exist?) who doesn't feel guilty playing. This is a feeling I've not held onto well enough. I need innocence, need the reminder that not all the world is cold and harsh and unfeeling. I hesitate to leave. When I do, I know the part of myself I found here will stay here. It's her home, no matter how much I wish it wasn't. Someday I will come back, and when I do, I will find a way to keep her, make her a part of myself.

It's almost like home ...

2006-11-09T08:44:00.000-08:00

... but with less sleep. I don't know when I became such a procrastinator, but it's really getting to be a problem. I had (have--it's due in less than 2 hours, and I'm nervously waiting for it to pop up as an attachment in my inbox) a 2,500 word essay about globalization and Westernization due today. I planned to write it this weekend. Unfortunately, that didn't quite work out. Sadly, I can't even say why. Regardless, I failed to meet my own goals. How typical. I didn't have time to do it during the week, because I spent literally all day in the editing suite, helping cut a short film, for three days straight. In the end, the film was awful, and I was forced to write a last-minute paper, which is equally awful. Terribly ironic, isn't it? The reason the paper's so bad is less that I wrote it quickly than that I wrote most of it between midnight and 7:30 in the morning. Yes, that's right. I got absolutely 0.0 hours of sleep last night. It's 4:45 now, and my eyes are starting to droop pretty heavily; I've been watching films or in the library all day, so I haven't even been able to drink a cup of tea to get some caffeine in me. Blah. Sleep. I need sleep. I'm delirious. And hysterical. Blah.

Time for a break, and a bit of fun

2006-11-01T05:18:00.000-08:00

I'm so sick of globalisation and Westernisation it's not even funny. I should continue thinking about them, because I have an essay about them due in a week, but enough is enough. So to entertain myself, I've stolen a meme I found. Time to explore the rainbow ...

***

RED
1. Closest red thing to you?
My lovely winter coat.
2. Have you ever cheated in a relationship?
Never had an opportunity.
3. Last thing to make you angry?
Myself, for not being able to communicate like I want to.
4. Are you a fan of romance?
Are you kidding? I love it. But I don't think romance needs to be roses and champagne; it's the little things that count.
5 . Have you ever been in love?
I've convinced myself that I'm in love before, but I have no way of gauging how true that is.

GREEN

1. Closest green thing to you?
An emergency exit sign. It's actually quite odd that it's green ...
2. Do you care about the environment?
Very much so. Nature sustains me, so I intend to do what I can to sustain it in return.
3. Are you jealous of anyone right now?
Not really, although some people do have things I'd like as well.
4. Do you like being outdoors?
Most of the time. The only thing I don't always like about the outdoors is the unpredictability.
5. Are you Irish?
No, but one of my aunts used to live in Ireland.

PURPLE

1. Last purple thing you saw?
The stripe on a gloriously fuzzy sock.
2. Like being treated to expensive things?
I've always had expensive taste, but I tend to feel guilty if I actually get something expensive. I guess I'm not really sure.
3. Favorite type of chocolate?
Dark. Mmmmm.
4. Ever met anyone in royalty?
No, although I'm in England, so maybe I can change that.
5. Are you lonely?
Sometimes, but I enjoy time to myself for the most part.

YELLOW

1. Closest yellow thing to you?
Part of a poster. It says something about a web guide.
2. Favorite holiday?
Christmas. I love all the sparkly things.
3. Are you a coward?
Well, I'd usually say yes. But I did come to England by myself, which was pretty brave, so I'm told.
4. Do you want children?
Yes, I think I do, at least if I can find a way to avoid scarring them for life.
5. What makes you feel warm and safe?
Blankets and other fuzzy things.

BLUE

1. Closest blue thing to you?
My jeans.
2. Are you good at calming people down?
I don't really know. I'd like to think so, but I'm probably not.
3. Do you like the sea?
Yes. Actually, I think I'm a bit like the sea -- I can be stormy, but am placid and reflective just as often.
4. What was the last thing to make you cry?
I think it was homesickness.
5. Can you sleep easily?
Some nights. I have trouble falling asleep sometimes, and other times I wake up about dozen times in one night. But for the most part, I make sure to get all the sleep I need. I'm very unpleasant when I don't have enough.

PINK

1. Closest pink thing to you?
There's nothing completely pink within eyesight, but there's a square of hot pink on my package of photo paper.
3. Do you like punk music?
For the most part, no. I have moods when I don't mind it, though.
4. What is your favorite flower?
Lilies, especially calla.
5. Does someone have a crush on you?
How should I know? There's not much of a history of it. I would, however, like to think the guy from the tube does at least a little, since we did go out.

ORANGE
1. Closest orange thing to you?
There are several journals (as in academic, not writing) with orange covers.
2. Do you like to burn things?
Oooh, flames. Pretty ...
3. Dress up for Halloween?
I haven't for years.
4. Do you prefer the single life or the security of a relationship?
Well, I haven't had an opportunity to experience the security of a relationship, but I think I'd prefer that. I don't mind being single too terribly, though, despite all the complaining I do.
5. What would your superpower be?
I don't know if this means what I'd like my power to be, or what's most plausible. What I'd like: mind-reading, but only if I could turn it on and off at will. What's slightly more plausible: what's the most useless power in the world? I'd probably be likely to have that.

WHITE

1. Closest white thing to you?
The dry mount paper used to attach photos to various surfaces. Would you be surprised if I told you I'm getting ready to head off to the darkroom to print pictures so I can mount them for my photography project?
2. How do you imagine your wedding?
Oh, man. I can't give all the details; I'd take up pages. But I want it to be elegant, timeless, with lots of black, white, and red. It'll be outside. The ideas of a sunrise wedding or an evening wedding with candles are both appealing, although both create difficulties for guests and the photographer. I think about this way too much, don't I?
3. Do you like to play in the snow?
I'm not a huge fan of making snowmen for some reason, but I do love snow angels.
4. Are you afraid of going to the doctor or dentist?
I'm a little afraid of dentists, but doctors only scare me in certain situations. I have been scared of them in the past because I knew they were going to tell me something I didn't like.
5. Do you have Attention Deficit Disorder?
No way. I only have trouble focusing when I'm stressed beyond belief.

BLACK

1. Closest black thing to you?
Hair tie on my wrist.
2. Ever enjoy hurting people?
Not physically, but sometimes it's fun to mess with people's minds. I always feel guilty later, though.
3. Are you sophisticated or silly?
Neither, but I lean toward sophistication, I do believe.
4. Would you like to go to space?
Not by myself, but maybe with someone else.
5. Do you have a lot of secrets?
I don't really think so, but I suspect my friends would disagree. I like to stay mysterious. I'm generally open if someone asks me something straight out, though.

Thank you, L, for providing me with some much-needed fun.

Just for fun

2006-10-27T03:47:00.000-07:00

The lovely game of Arteroids. Play it with the sound on, at least at first. Enjoy!

The city of dreaming spires

2006-10-19T01:42:00.000-07:00

It's official. I want to get my Master's at Oxford. I've always said that, but only because it has such an amazing academic reputation. Of course, that's still a major part of my reasoning. The real reason now, though, is that I just fell in love with the city when I visited last Saturday.

The trip got off to a bit of a rough start, but everything was made right once I stepped out of the train station. The weather was, of course, a bit grey, but the city was beautiful. I don't know how it's possible for such a busy place to feel like a village, but it did. I prefer it immensely to London. Oxford's called the city of dreaming spires for a reason; it seemed that there was a steeple in every lovely view. Those were just the views from the ground. The first place I visited was St. Mary's, which started out as the university, but became its church as the university outgrew the building. St. Mary's has (I believe) the highest tower in the city, which I just had to climb up. Wow. The view is undoubtedly the most breathtaking city landscape I have ever seen. I loved it. Oxford has so many old buildings that I caught a glimpse of history from every angle. I could have stayed up there for hours. (In fact, staying at the top might have been easier, because the stairs were wicked -- tiny stone spiral steps most of the way, barely wide enough for one person. Not for those who suffer from vertigo, let me tell you.) The church itself was beautiful, too, with giant stained glass windows and a plush chorister.

Afterwards I went on a tour of the colleges, which was obviously thrilling beyond belief for me. I'm not really prone to celebrity worship, but I was definitely starstruck as the tour went on. The tour guide just kept listing these amazing people who had attended or taught at the different colleges -- Tolkien, Phillip Pullman, Christopher Wren, the guy who invented the Internet (I should know his name, but I don't), and of course the list goes on for miles. She also told us that bits of Harry Potter were shot there, and that the first movie of the Dark Instrument series (Not released yet, I believe) was shot there as well. It was so cool. And the colleges themselves were spectacular. Some of them had been established in the 1300s, although most of the buildings were more recent than that, roughly 17th century, I think she said. My favorite part in regard to the architecture was when we passed under a little bridge inspired by the Venetian style. The tour guide just mentioned it in passing, and told us it was 90 years old. "So it's pretty new." I love that; you could never say that in the States. Unfortunately, we didn't get to go in very many of the colleges. Most days we would have been able to, but the day I went was matriculation day. I didn't mind too much. Seeing the students in full regalia made up for it. I was really glad that I got to see students, actually. I've already mentioned that I've wanted to go to Oxford for a while, and I always had this perception that students there are always serious. It's a stupid assumption, really, because why would people my age be so much calmer just because they're at a famous school? They definitely aren't. We passed a tavern, stuffed to the gills with students and their families celebrating. I saw one guy put a traffic cone on his head, put his cap on top of it, and pose for a picture. We passed a hall of residence, and a group of students were blasting Queen and greeted us by shouting, "Look, tourists!" It was great.

As much as I loved the city, I must admit I was disappointed by some aspects. I wouldn't have believed it possible, but I saw virtually nothing about Tolkien. I had to go to the Eagle and Child on my own, and even that pub, so central to the writing and life of Tolkien, had only a poster that was about 2 ft x 4 ft at the largest. I was dumbfounded. I know I'm not the only Tolkien fan; I visited his grave (yes, I know it's morbid), and just as I was leaving, someone else approached. But that was the only sign of his notoriety that I saw, unless you count someone at the Oxfam bookshop realizing where I was going when I asked for directions to the cemetery. That aspect of the trip was a complete letdown. I'd planned on buying people Tolkien or Lord of the Rings gifts while there, but I just couldn't find them. Maybe I didn't look hard enough. I didn't get to see half of the sites associated with Tolkien, or the few Oxford sites related to Tolkien. I didn't get to see Merton or Magdalen college, and I didn't get to see Lewis' grave, which I'm very sad about. Lewis is my favorite author ever. I guess this just means that I have to go back ... :)

London Adventure No. 2: A bliss of paper and ink

2006-10-09T10:59:00.000-07:00

Saturday was nothing short of amazing. I arrived in central London intending to go to a market for book collectors, but wound up walking through a small but lovely garden instead. I took a few pictures, but soon headed toward my next destination: the British Library. To save a little money, I decided to walk through London instead of taking the tube or bus. (Although to be honest, I probably wouldn't have taken the bus anyway; I still haven't figured out how the bus system works.) I didn't bother trying to take in everything. I just walked, slightly aware of the stores and restaurants and people around me. I did stop once when I saw a store that had something about paper in the name. I've been looking for stationery (which is ridiculously hard to find for some reason), so I decided to go in. It was such a beautiful store. They didn't have stationery, but they did have lots of decorative paper. Gorgeous: handmade papers with fibre and flowers, the famous swirling peacock design, richly colored satin-like sheets filled with silver symbols. It also had materials for bookbinding, as well as guides on how to do it. I've never encountered that before, and I was enchanted. Now I have something else to add to my list of life goals. :) I did leave soon enough, though, because I wanted to have plenty of time to spend in the library.

When I arrived, I was just blown away. The British Library is not at all what I expected. It doesn't really look all that big or beautiful, but it was still impressive. It's a complex that rises into the sky, and you come at it from this flat courtyard that's actually quite pretty in a stark sort of way. But the real delight came when I went inside. Until Sunday, they had an exhibit about British newspapers, which is why I absolutely had to go on Saturday. As a journalism major (albeit not for long), it would be a terrible waste to miss that. The exhibit was wonderful; I sort of stood in awe of this incredible history in front of me. I picked up a free newspaper that contained all the headlines on display, so I have a souvenir to show anyone who cares. I was really disappointed that I wasn't allowed to take pictures. I did, however, have my picture taken for the newspaper page I "designed." I now have a front page with my byline and headshot above a story about the future of the Internet, published by the Independent. (I got to decide which paper I wanted to work for, and I decided on the Independent because they had the most interesting designs in the entire exhibit, in my opinion.) Once I made my way through the newspaper exhibit, I went to the room that houses the "Treasures of the British Library." I was absolutely dumbstruck. The most amazing experience ever. End of story. I just walked around with this incredibly stupid smile on my face as I looked at the books. Jane Austen's journal, and one of her writing desks. Charlotte Bronte's writing. Seamus Heaney. A copy of Beowulf from the 1500s. Bits of sheet music from Mozart and Beethoven and so many more. Handwritten lyrics to Beatles songs written on napkins, torn pieces of paper. Ancient copies of the Bible, on vellum and with ornate calligraphy. Sacred Hindu and Buddhist texts. The Magna Carta. Copies of pages from da Vinci's notebook. A letter written by Newton. A letter written by Darwin. A letter written by Thomas More. Nothing short of amazing. I don't think there's more to say, really. It leaves me speechless.

I followed the trip to the library with a trip to an antique market, which was a disappointment. Lots of pretty things, but nothing I could buy. I did, however, stop at a charity shop later and buy two books, just to fit in with the literary theme of my day. I'd never heard of either: one's about the history of tulips, and one's about the future of technology. I returned to my flat happy, satisfied in knowing that my literary explorations of London/England are just beginning, as I have a trip to Oxford planned for Saturday.

2006-10-04T23:41:00.000-07:00

Landmarks/cool things I've seen or visited so far:

* The Peter Pan statue
* The Rosetta Stone
* A couple of Jackson Pollock paintings
* Waterlilies, by Monet
* Millennium Bridge
* A house Rudyard Kipling lived in
* Shakespeare's Globe Theatre exhibition (but not the theatre yet)
* A bit of Notting Hill
* Kensington Gardens/Palace

Week 1

2006-09-30T04:15:00.000-07:00

The first week of classes is over, and for the most part, I'm excited. I'm really going to be stretched artistically, I think. A rundown:

Globalization: Nothing artistic here. There will be mental stretching, though. I think a lot of the concepts are over my head. I also felt like the instructor expected us to have some background in the subject, which I obviously don't. It's kind of frustrating. I have to write one 2500 word paper for this class, and prepare a 2500 word report as well.

Image and Language - Film: This is actually a media class, but not media in the sense of news media. It's used in the sense of artistic media, e.g. film, photography, etc. It's definitely not what I expected when I read the description. I'm working in a group to produce a 1-2 minute film about the concepts of image and language. Horribly, horribly vague. The really exciting thing about this class is that we're working with real, i.e. 60 mm, film. It's the kind you literally have to cut. No computers or anything. It's going to be a huge challenge, especially since the film is due Nov. 9. The module runs from 10-5 on Thursdays, but it only lasts the first six weeks of the semester.

Foundations in Photography: This is just what it sounds like. I'm learning photography from the start. Black and white, to be specific. That's just thrilling to me; I've never done any black and white photography before, but I love looking at it. I'm learning how to develop and print as well. By Dec. 15, I have to have produced a series of 3-5 images that deal with the theme 'Interaction.' Again, horribly, horribly vague. I think this will be my favorite class.

I'm taking one more module, but it doesn't meet until week 7.

It's really weird to be an international student. People ask me all the time about the States, and I don't know what to tell them half of the time, because they mention NYC or LA or some huge city I've never been to. It's okay, though. I do the same thing to international students at home. :)

***

On a completely unrelated note, I just got an e-mail from the guy on the tube. Weird. I don't know quite what to do with that.

2006-09-29T05:35:00.000-07:00

Today, I could almost believe I'm back at home in Missouri. The slow grey drizzle that crowded the sky only a few hours ago has given way to sunlight mottled with the shadows of clouds. The grass is a glistening green from the combination, an intense patch of color bright enough to make me turn away. There's more green on the other side, mixed with the pinks of various flowers and the deep brown-grey of tree trunks. The temperature is cool enough to require a thin jacket, just like the crisp autumn days of the Midwest. But that's where the similarities end.

As I sit here in the computer lab, students are chatting freely, their accents bringing me back to England. Dropped r's, lilting words, an almost audible u in some words. It's bittersweet. This is what I came here for: to immerse myself in English culture. I couldn't ask for more of that. But it's all so alien, and I keep tripping up and finding more differences between here and home. Majors are called courses, and classes are called modules. Drugstore = chemist. I can't even recognize a KitKat bar.

It's wonderful and thrilling and absolutely terrifying. I don't want to be homesick, and yet I find that I can't help it. I walk past a patch of rosemary every morning, and one particularly strong, bittersweet memory replays every time. It makes me think of home, and I'm finding that thinking about home may not be the best idea. Home is not an option, not for another 3 1/2 months or so. I know I'll have tons of life experiences by the time I leave, but right now I'm not so sure I want them. They're inevitable, though; all I can do is brace myself and prepare for the wind.

I'm not homeless anymore!

2006-09-26T02:10:00.000-07:00

... and a lousy hostel has been replaced with a nearly ideal situation. It's a small room, but there's plenty of room for me and my things. It has a desk, bed, and wardrobe, and even comes with sheets. The room is bright, with a big window overlooking the backyard (or garden, as they call it), which seems pretty sizable for England. I also have a mini refrigerator and small TV in the room. I have full use of the kitchen, including dishes, cookware, etc. I also get to use a washer. Unfortunately, there's no dryer, but things can dry by themselves. There are plants in the dining room, which is wonderful, because they remind me of home. It's within walking distance of the university, or only one tube station away. It's near the tube station, actually, but not so near that I'll be able to hear it or any other train. It's a quiet, pretty neighborhood. The only flaw is that a guy lives there, too. I can handle that, though; I've been dressing in the bathroom for two years now. I'm so excited! I may start sending mail soon, or you can send me some. :) The address is:

2 Hampton Rise
Harrow, Middlesex
HA3 0SB

I think. I may have to clarify handwriting.

2006-09-26T00:44:00.000-07:00

I found a place to live! Details forthcoming A.S.A.P. Right now, I have to go to my first class of the semester: Globalisation and the Media. We'll see how interesting that turns out to be.

Thanks for all your prayers/help/good wishes, all of you. You've been amazing.

It's the little things that count ...

2006-09-22T00:14:00.000-07:00

* The funny thing about prices here is that they have nearly the same numerals as the States would, but everything still costs twice as much. For example, you might see fries at McDonald'd for 99p, but that's $2. Whenever I go shopping, I silently double everything in my head and just sit there in shock for a few moments.

* The water faucets here have separate spouts for hot and cold water, which means that I get scalded, or I freeze.

* This is the first day it's rained since I arrived. By the way, on a random note, New York gets more annual rainfall than London. I guess drizzles don't add up to much. :)

* I have to go back to uni this morning to exchange a couple of classes, because I can't do it online.

* I turned down alcohol for the first time yesterday.

* I wanted to post something funny, but I can't think of anything at the moment. So: "All McDonalds commercials end the same way: "prices and participation may vary." I want to open my own McDonalds and not participate in anything. I want to be a stubborn McDonalds owner. "Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti!...And blankets. And we are not affiliated with that clown. He attracts too many children." -- Mitch Hedberg

On the move

2006-09-19T03:39:00.000-07:00

I've moved again. For the next four nights, I'm staying in a hostel near central London; only a couple of tube stops from Baker St., in fact. It's a lovely place, a converted Victorian home. There's a small grocery stand just across the road selling produce and flowers -- orchids and roses and beautifully colored blooms. I've seen several of them in London already, and I love it. You don't have that in the States, I think. Anyway, I also have free wireless access and get a free breakfast. I'm really looking forward to the breakfast, because I haven't had a proper meal since I arrived. I was provided with a lunch at orientation yesterday, but it only included a gross chicken salad sandwich, a Snickers bar (full size, though), a bag of crisps, and a Gala (!) apple. A bit of nourishment, I suppose, but not quite enough. Aside from that, I've stuck with what I brought from home, since I didn't eat any of it on the plane. Apparently I get airsick, at least when I'm nervous. Fantastic, eh? The price of the hostel is about 15# less than the hotel I stayed at for a couple of nights. I'm really hoping I can find a room by Saturday, because the hostel doesn't have any available beds, and I really don't want to drag my luggage around again. I've done it enough, I think. It's a good thing I have arm muscles.

I think I'll post some of the interesting experiences I've already had within the next couple of days. It's so nice to have Internet access again. I never realized how spoiled I was.

2006-09-18T08:03:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. I'm in London, safe. Temporarily homeless, but safe. I'm staying at a hotel, and then a hostel, until I can find a real place to call home. This was supposed to be taken care of, but it proved to be a lesson in trusting people. Or rather, why I shouldn't trust people. The short of it is, the guy (who I never e-mailed; I only was in contact with his girlfriend) is a complete jerk who rented the room to someone else and didn't bother to let me know. How I found out is long and complicated, and something I'd rather not think about just yet. Right now I'm sort of floating around Northwest London, which is kind of scary. I've seen enough ads for rooms for let, though, that I think I'll be able to find one in the area I need.

Aside from the fiasco, all's well. The woman I sat next to on the plane helped me find my way to Harrow. Someone there helped me find my way to a hotel. London's gorgeous, especially the suburbs. Everyone's incredibly generous. Once I settle in, I think I'll really like it here.

On the blog's title

2006-09-16T18:40:00.001-07:00

"Traveller in an antique land" is a reference to a line from a Shelley sonnet. The original line is "traveller from an antique land," from "Ozymandias." Some of you are bugged by the two l's, but I'm keeping them. The British spelling uses two. When I'm more patient, I'll post a link to the Cambridge Dictionary, which is where I confirmed that.

On the blog's title

2006-09-16T18:40:00.000-07:00

2006-09-16T18:33:00.000-07:00

Flight delays. Yuck. It's already been an hour and a half. I have a headache, and I'm still inexplicably nauseous. I suppose it could be lack of food; I haven't eaten much today. Haven't been able to, really; nerves take away my appetite. On the bright side, my seat partner is from the part of London that I'm going to, so she's been able to give me advice on how to get there. I can take a train, and then a bus. Excellent. I still have to carry luggage, but not through central London. Thank goodness! There are British accents all around me. Lots of thoughts and emotions. I don't know what to do; I can't concentrate. I'm only about 40 pages into Mansfield Park.

2006-09-14T16:23:00.000-07:00

I leave in 46 hours, and I'm finally excited instead of stressed out. It's about time. I'm also full of questions right now, but I won't waste space by listing them. They'd take up the entire screen, and then some. I can still hardly believe I'm going to London. This is me we're talking about, after all. The girl who refused to talk almost all of last year. The shy girl in the background. The one with a book. This semester is going to force me to change my personality. I'm not sure if I'm ready to, but a big part of me wants to. I've never been good at making friends in short amounts of time, but if I plan to survive in London, I suppose I'll have to. I just pray that when I'm facing the challenge, I don't run away. That's always a really strong temptation for me. It's easy to do it in places I know so well; there's always a safe escape hatch. I'll be locked in now, forced to face all the social horrors I fear so much. It'll be quite an adventure.

When minds shut down ...

2006-09-05T12:49:00.000-07:00

T-minus 11 days,and I still can't quite wrap my mind around the idea that I'm going to London. Don't get me wrong; I'm excited. I was reading a book about the history of London, and as I looked at the pictures, I was just blown away. The buildings there are absolutely gorgeous, and have such incredible stories. I'm still nervous, though. Preparing has been overwhelming. I keep finding details that I've missed before, and random horrifying what-ifs still pop into my head. What if the people I'm renting from are psycho? What if I run out of money? What if I fail all my classes because the teaching style over there is completely different? An infinite number of things could go wrong. I don't really think they will, but, hey, it's a possibility. Of course, it's a possibility I'll fall in love over there, or find the most amazing church ever, or be in the most creative period of my life. But I'm a pessimist, so I dwell on the negative. Unfortunate, I suppose. I have always found it much easier to be dark when I'm stressed (like most people, I'm sure), and I am right now. The jumps between anxiety and excitement are sometimes too much for my poor mind to handle, and I shut down. That's why anyone who talks to me about London right now will hear bland, flat answers, even though deep down I'm bubbling over with emotion.

In two weeks, I'll be in class, listening to a British professor. I hope he's a gargoyle, because otherwise I'll melt. :)

By the way, Justin, Illustrator was okay. Fairly intuitive, but took some work. Arcs are frustrating. It'll take some getting used to.

2006-08-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

Quick update on London prep:

* I now have a place to live. I believe it's within walking distance of campus, and it's relatively inexpensive. (Relative to the area, of course; it's still an outrageous amount for me.)

* I finally got my orientation packet a couple of weeks ago. Attached was a schedule of events for international students, including a riverboat cruise on the Thames, a Beatles Magical Mystery tour, and a trip to Oxford. I'm really looking forward to some of the events.

* I'll be in Columbia next weekend, sorting out the switch to English, and talking with the study abroad advisor about last-minute details. Of course, I'll also be going to the Rock and seeing friends.

* Financial matters are finally settling.

* I designed letterhead to use while I'm in London, encountering Illustrator for the first time in the process. I can't wait to send letters out using it.

* 21 days to liftoff.

2006-08-18T08:26:00.000-07:00

Things are pulling together disturbingly well right now. I wonder when the bottom will fall out ... but I intend to enjoy the time before it does. I think I found a place to live. I just have to decide if I think it's safe to say I'm going to rent a room before I see it or meet the people renting it to me. We've been e-mailing, and they seem pleasant, but you can't really tell from an e-mail. Rent's relatively cheap; as far as I can tell the house is within walking distance of campus. (I don't have an exact address, so I'm not 100% sure.)

I also finally received my orientation packet, and devoured it within 20 minutes or so. I was very excited to get it. It's so much fun to read something about London and think, I'm going to be there in 29 days! By far one of the coolest feelings in the world. Of course, there's still plenty of apprehension.A completely new place, where I don't know anyone and I'm the international student. It should be interesting ...

Let the search begin

2006-08-11T08:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I found out that I will not be staying in the residence halls at the University of Westminster as I had planned. Which means, of course, that I need to find an apartment or a place to stay. Rent is ridiculous in London; I was told to expect to pay between 75 and 85 pounds/week. I've found some at around 70 pounds, though, so I think that's what I'll count on spending. Actually, those are rooms, which is fine. Single rooms are much more economical, and I still have it to myself; I just share a bathroom and kitchen, which I'd do if I stayed in a res hall anyway. I also discovered that renting a room is actually less expensive than staying on campus, too, so I guess it's not all bad. But doing an international room search is both interesting and stressful. I found one website that's been very helpful; in fact, I may try to contact some of the people listed. I'm worried about doing that, though. What if I find some really cool students that I'd like to live with once I get there? (There's a housing meeting on the second day of orientation to help those who won't be living in residence halls.) It's all very worrisome, and I'm kind of disappointed that I won't be living on campus. I'm not very social, and I'm not sure I'll put out the effort to meet other students now. On the other hand, I might get to stay with a British family this way; I think a lot of the rooms are from students looking to make up the rent with as many people as possible, but I saw some families offering spare rooms (cost of living there is high, after all -- I'd try to make extra money, too. :)). That could be very interesting. Basically, I'm just trying not to panic about this unexpected situation.

2006-07-21T09:31:00.000-07:00

People keep asking me if I'm excited about going to London. Of course, I respond quickly; a "yes" is always close at hand. And I certainly am excited about it. I've always wanted to visit London. However, excitement has not been the dominant feeling lately. Fear has started to set in. I've been asked multiple times if I'm going by myself, and when I say yes, people just give me this look, like I'm crazy or something. "I couldn't go alone," they say. Well, it's not like I want to go alone, either. I just don't have a choice, just as London is not where I'd ideally spend time in England. I don't like cities. In fact, I rather hate them. I'm none too fond of strangers, or crowds, or areas I don't know well. I guess the realization that London (albeit a small burough of London) is a huge city is just starting to hit me. I'm worried that I won't be able to keep up; I'm worried that my grades will slip; I'm worried that I'm more conservative than a lot of the students there probably are. Despite the guidebooks and Internet searchings, I still have no idea what it'll be like in England. I have so many questions, both about the country and about myself. What if I don't fit in? What if I'm strucky by a massive wave of insecurity and anthropophobia? What if I run out of money? Are the people in England kind, or will they be gruff with me? So many questions ... someday I will put them aside, lose anxiety, and enjoy life. Unfortunately, someday is not today.

2006-07-19T06:26:00.000-07:00

Traveling abroad is a progressive exercise in the discovery of our own ignorance.

-- William Blake

2006-07-18T07:07:00.000-07:00

London hasn't been on my mind too much lately, except in flashes of blind panic about finances. Despite all my worry about money, though, I continue to plan fun things to do while I'm there. I've been looking at theatre and opera schedules, and I must admit I'm quite thrilled by what I've found. It's no surprise that London has a wonderful lineup for the fall. However, I was surprised to discover that theatre and opera are less expensive in London than they are here, especially on the day of performance. One company (Unfortunately, I've forgotten which) sells tickets on the day of for around $18. English National Opera sells students tickets for as little as $25. I am, of course, tremendously excited by all of this. I love theatre, and I've always wanted to see an opera. ENO is performing La Traviata and The Marriage of Figaro while I'll be there. I'm hoping to see at least one. I think I want to see La Traviata, actually. I loved Moulin Rouge (which is loosely based on it), and I've requested the Dumas novel it's based on. Of course, spending last semester with professor who loves Mozart, and even brought in cake so we could celebrate Mozart's birthday properly, does make me inclined to see The Marriage of Figaro as well. And naturally there are about 10 million other productions I'd like to see as well. Picking one will be difficult. At least I don't have to pick out a dress. I'm such a girl. :) I went shopping this weekend, looking for practical things like jeans and sweaters, and what do I end up with? A lovely, lovely, black tea-length formal dress -- perfectly fitted, strapless (with optional straps), a satin ribbon around the waist. It's gorgeous, classic, and makes me feel like a grown-up. And even better, it was only $12 at Goodwill. But I digress ... I can't wait to go to the theatre in London. This is all so exciting.

2006-07-12T06:22:00.000-07:00

I almost never dream, so I was somewhat shocked to wake up this morning and realize that I had. Unfortunately, it wasn't a bright, cheerful dream. It was a nightmare of sorts, actually. There were no monsters chasing me (unless you count pre-schoolers) or trees trying to eat me. I don't even remember all of it. I just know that I had missed my flight to London. In some ways, I was fine with it, I recall, because I hadn't even finished packing. I kept thinking, "I forgot all my sweaters at home!" and going home to find them. Apparently, I lived close to the airport, because this happened more than once. I also remember becoming teary at the thought of paying another hundred dollars to change my ticket date again. (I'll have to do it once in real life, which is bad enough.) The only other thing I can recall is that there were pre-schoolers at my house, which I don't understand at all. My sister, who has a one-year-old, wasn't even there. Odd...

I guess my subconcious is getting as anxious as I am. I'm researching London a bit now, and all these negative possibilities pop into my head. Most involve faith, depression, and money. I know everything will be resolved in time, but, man, I hope it's sooner than later.

Welcome

2006-07-06T07:21:00.000-07:00

I have so many thoughts about studying abroad that I had to create a new place to post them. This is a public blog I set up so my friends and family could follow my adventures in England, Germany, and Spain. Enjoy.