Snapshots
The spire of Harrow school rises out of the mist, elegant and understated. It's little more than a silhouette; the charcoal shingles blend seamlessly with the lighter grey sky. Below the monotonous horizon lie jewels. A blindingly green field, shimmering with the raindrops that bow the blades of grass. A line of trees, now in glorious autumn color. It's almost a line of fire, yellows turning into oranges and flaming reds. Sparks have fallen and reached the ground; now they lie there, waiting for their moment of glory. If the wind blows in just the right way, I think the earth will explode into flame, burst back into life, erupt with the colors of creation.
***
There's a man dressed in a clown suit, absurd in his makeup and loudly patterned clothes. He must be cold there by the door; it's November and grey and rainy. But still, he's smiling and laughing and talking to passersby. In between chats, he blows bubbles into the store, creating an impermanent indoor layer of clouds. They make the atmosphere come alive. The people in the store love them, or at least I do. I love the store in general. What's better than uncontrolled access to 6 stories of toys? It's glorious. Between the teddy bears and Legos and dolls, I catch glimpses of myself, a younger me (Did she really exist?) who doesn't feel guilty playing. This is a feeling I've not held onto well enough. I need innocence, need the reminder that not all the world is cold and harsh and unfeeling. I hesitate to leave. When I do, I know the part of myself I found here will stay here. It's her home, no matter how much I wish it wasn't. Someday I will come back, and when I do, I will find a way to keep her, make her a part of myself.
Time for a break, and a bit of fun
I'm so sick of globalisation and Westernisation it's not even funny. I should continue thinking about them, because I have an essay about them due in a week, but enough is enough. So to entertain myself, I've stolen a meme I found. Time to explore the rainbow ...
***
RED
1. Closest red thing to you?
My lovely winter coat.
2. Have you ever cheated in a relationship?
Never had an opportunity.
3. Last thing to make you angry?
Myself, for not being able to communicate like I want to.
4. Are you a fan of romance?
Are you kidding? I love it. But I don't think romance needs to be roses and champagne; it's the little things that count.
5 . Have you ever been in love?
I've convinced myself that I'm in love before, but I have no way of gauging how true that is.
GREEN1. Closest green thing to you?
An emergency exit sign. It's actually quite odd that it's green ...
2. Do you care about the environment?
Very much so. Nature sustains me, so I intend to do what I can to sustain it in return.
3. Are you jealous of anyone right now?
Not really, although some people do have things I'd like as well.
4. Do you like being outdoors?
Most of the time. The only thing I don't always like about the outdoors is the unpredictability.
5. Are you Irish?
No, but one of my aunts used to live in Ireland.
PURPLE1. Last purple thing you saw?
The stripe on a gloriously fuzzy sock.
2. Like being treated to expensive things?
I've always had expensive taste, but I tend to feel guilty if I actually get something expensive. I guess I'm not really sure.
3. Favorite type of chocolate?
Dark. Mmmmm.
4. Ever met anyone in royalty?
No, although I'm in England, so maybe I can change that.
5. Are you lonely?
Sometimes, but I enjoy time to myself for the most part.
YELLOW
1. Closest yellow thing to you?
Part of a poster. It says something about a web guide.
2. Favorite holiday?
Christmas. I love all the sparkly things.
3. Are you a coward?
Well, I'd usually say yes. But I did come to England by myself, which was pretty brave, so I'm told.
4. Do you want children?
Yes, I think I do, at least if I can find a way to avoid scarring them for life.
5. What makes you feel warm and safe?
Blankets and other fuzzy things.
BLUE1. Closest blue thing to you?
My jeans.
2. Are you good at calming people down?
I don't really know. I'd like to think so, but I'm probably not.
3. Do you like the sea?
Yes. Actually, I think I'm a bit like the sea -- I can be stormy, but am placid and reflective just as often.
4. What was the last thing to make you cry?
I think it was homesickness.
5. Can you sleep easily?
Some nights. I have trouble falling asleep sometimes, and other times I wake up about dozen times in one night. But for the most part, I make sure to get all the sleep I need. I'm very unpleasant when I don't have enough.
PINK
1. Closest pink thing to you?
There's nothing completely pink within eyesight, but there's a square of hot pink on my package of photo paper.
3. Do you like punk music?
For the most part, no. I have moods when I don't mind it, though.
4. What is your favorite flower?
Lilies, especially calla.
5. Does someone have a crush on you?
How should I know? There's not much of a history of it. I would, however, like to think the guy from the tube does at least a little, since we did go out.
ORANGE
1. Closest orange thing to you?
There are several journals (as in academic, not writing) with orange covers.
2. Do you like to burn things?
Oooh, flames. Pretty ...
3. Dress up for Halloween?
I haven't for years.
4. Do you prefer the single life or the security of a relationship?
Well, I haven't had an opportunity to experience the security of a relationship, but I think I'd prefer that. I don't mind being single too terribly, though, despite all the complaining I do.
5. What would your superpower be?
I don't know if this means what I'd like my power to be, or what's most plausible. What I'd like: mind-reading, but only if I could turn it on and off at will. What's slightly more plausible: what's the most useless power in the world? I'd probably be likely to have that.
WHITE1. Closest white thing to you?
The dry mount paper used to attach photos to various surfaces. Would you be surprised if I told you I'm getting ready to head off to the darkroom to print pictures so I can mount them for my photography project?
2. How do you imagine your wedding?
Oh, man. I can't give all the details; I'd take up pages. But I want it to be elegant, timeless, with lots of black, white, and red. It'll be outside. The ideas of a sunrise wedding or an evening wedding with candles are both appealing, although both create difficulties for guests and the photographer. I think about this way too much, don't I?
3. Do you like to play in the snow?
I'm not a huge fan of making snowmen for some reason, but I do love snow angels.
4. Are you afraid of going to the doctor or dentist?
I'm a little afraid of dentists, but doctors only scare me in certain situations. I have been scared of them in the past because I knew they were going to tell me something I didn't like.
5. Do you have Attention Deficit Disorder?
No way. I only have trouble focusing when I'm stressed beyond belief.
BLACK1. Closest black thing to you?
Hair tie on my wrist.
2. Ever enjoy hurting people?
Not physically, but sometimes it's fun to mess with people's minds. I always feel guilty later, though.
3. Are you sophisticated or silly?
Neither, but I lean toward sophistication, I do believe.
4. Would you like to go to space?
Not by myself, but maybe with someone else.
5. Do you have a lot of secrets?
I don't really think so, but I suspect my friends would disagree. I like to stay mysterious. I'm generally open if someone asks me something straight out, though.
Thank you,
L, for providing me with some much-needed fun.
Since I don't have a digital camera, it's hard for me to post pictures. Developing film here is expensive, so I'm waiting until I get home to do it, so I usually can't even scan images. I have, however, printed a few photos in my photography class, including this one of Kensington Gardens. The real picture is a bit bleached out, so I did edit it a little in Photoshop. Sadly, it's the only copy of it that will ever exist, as the negative mysteriously disappeared. Very upsetting, because I actually do like this picture a lot.
