Tuesday, September 05, 2006

When minds shut down ...

T-minus 11 days,and I still can't quite wrap my mind around the idea that I'm going to London. Don't get me wrong; I'm excited. I was reading a book about the history of London, and as I looked at the pictures, I was just blown away. The buildings there are absolutely gorgeous, and have such incredible stories. I'm still nervous, though. Preparing has been overwhelming. I keep finding details that I've missed before, and random horrifying what-ifs still pop into my head. What if the people I'm renting from are psycho? What if I run out of money? What if I fail all my classes because the teaching style over there is completely different? An infinite number of things could go wrong. I don't really think they will, but, hey, it's a possibility. Of course, it's a possibility I'll fall in love over there, or find the most amazing church ever, or be in the most creative period of my life. But I'm a pessimist, so I dwell on the negative. Unfortunate, I suppose. I have always found it much easier to be dark when I'm stressed (like most people, I'm sure), and I am right now. The jumps between anxiety and excitement are sometimes too much for my poor mind to handle, and I shut down. That's why anyone who talks to me about London right now will hear bland, flat answers, even though deep down I'm bubbling over with emotion.

In two weeks, I'll be in class, listening to a British professor. I hope he's a gargoyle, because otherwise I'll melt. :)

By the way, Justin, Illustrator was okay. Fairly intuitive, but took some work. Arcs are frustrating. It'll take some getting used to.


At 3:15 PM, Blogger Justin said...

What if:
...aliens abduct your entire block?
...a literature professor want to focus entirely on the works in & around Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
...ooohhhh, what if said professor brings in Anthony Stewart Head as guest speaker?
Oh, lucky you! Find ASH for me out there and have a cup of coffee with the man. I'll be SO jealous. He's in Bath.


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