Friday, September 29, 2006

Today, I could almost believe I'm back at home in Missouri. The slow grey drizzle that crowded the sky only a few hours ago has given way to sunlight mottled with the shadows of clouds. The grass is a glistening green from the combination, an intense patch of color bright enough to make me turn away. There's more green on the other side, mixed with the pinks of various flowers and the deep brown-grey of tree trunks. The temperature is cool enough to require a thin jacket, just like the crisp autumn days of the Midwest. But that's where the similarities end.

As I sit here in the computer lab, students are chatting freely, their accents bringing me back to England. Dropped r's, lilting words, an almost audible u in some words. It's bittersweet. This is what I came here for: to immerse myself in English culture. I couldn't ask for more of that. But it's all so alien, and I keep tripping up and finding more differences between here and home. Majors are called courses, and classes are called modules. Drugstore = chemist. I can't even recognize a KitKat bar.

It's wonderful and thrilling and absolutely terrifying. I don't want to be homesick, and yet I find that I can't help it. I walk past a patch of rosemary every morning, and one particularly strong, bittersweet memory replays every time. It makes me think of home, and I'm finding that thinking about home may not be the best idea. Home is not an option, not for another 3 1/2 months or so. I know I'll have tons of life experiences by the time I leave, but right now I'm not so sure I want them. They're inevitable, though; all I can do is brace myself and prepare for the wind.

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